Show HN: Make cursed fonts like Times New Bastard

(bastardica.mitpit.com)

580 points | by MitPitt 1 day ago

53 comments

  • ycombiredd 2 hours ago
    So at first I misunderstood your tool, thinking it was like a tool I made a little over a year ago that creates new fonts from existing font glyph paths, combining them in a couple of ways. It began as an ambigram generator (png image) using an arbitrary ttf or woff of your choosing and once I had that working, I realized that since I was just transforming vector paths, I could mix paths from multiple fonts, still focusing on ambigram generation.

    Eventually, scope crept until it became an interesting and useful thing to be able to combine say, the top half of Arial with the bottom half of Times New Roman's letters (and combine with various boolean operations on the paths, with outlines, etc, and I assumed others would be as pleased with this ability as I was, so I documented some examples and shared it here and in a fontography subreddit.

    To my surprise, it got essentially no interest when I posted here, and the response from the typography folks was basically negative with people somehow framing it as a piracy-adjacent thing, and not a fun thing to do, just mashing up vector paths to get interesting unique results. shrug

    Seems like you and maybe some other participants in this discussion might actually appreciate this little tool and get some enjoyment and perhaps utility out of it, so I'll share it here. https://github.com/scottvr/fambigen

    There are examples in the README that show what it does in ambigram mode or "font compositor" mode. Enjoy!

    • paulhebert 2 hours ago
      This is cool! Thanks for sharing
  • mortenjorck 11 hours ago
    I have never felt quite so cacklingly nefarious as a designer as I did just now carefully adjusting vertical scale and offset so that the x-height and baseline of Papyrus optically match Comic Sans when mixed together.

    I don't yet know who I'll be pranking with the downloaded font, but I look forward to their reaction.

    • coffee-on-thurs 5 hours ago
      Here you go: https://filebin.net/v31in1w6jh1wp9g4

      It will show up as "Papyrus and Comic Sans MS Bastard".

      Now why you want this is the real question.

    • Obscurity4340 9 hours ago
      Care to share somehow, sounds delightfully hilarious
      • danielheath 7 hours ago
        Open the effects submenu, 81% y-scale, 2% y-offset, papyrus on the left, comic sans on the right.
      • mikestorrent 8 hours ago
        Yeah we need to see this
    • soperj 5 hours ago
      "The new avatar logo is bastardized papyrus in bold" does have a ring too it.
    • malfist 7 hours ago
      You should also subtly adjust the skew to throw kerning way off
  • krelas 9 hours ago
    If you want to make a designer have a nervous breakdown, upload a copy of Helvetica and make every second or third character be Arial.
  • Sharlin 10 hours ago
    Inspired by the sample text for "Nervous Sans": "Anal", an Arial with bad keming
    • sebmellen 9 hours ago
      Took me a moment.. hilarious
  • Fliwatt 10 hours ago
    There is a lot of fun stuff you can do with fonts. A friend of mine made a self-censoring font: Paranoia Sans https://github.com/flegfleg/Paranoia-Sans
  • tholman 4 hours ago
    Fun story, a good... (checks calendar, oh lord) 8+ years ago, I made a mis-kerned version of helvetica (smelvetica i called it [1]) as a joke, and eventually had the lawyers push on me

    > we ask that you stop promoting ‘Smelvetica’ and making the font software available to everybody. Next time, just let us know if you have more ideas on how to modernize our classics, we are always open for creative input.

    - [1](https://tholman.com/post/smelvetica/)

  • dvh 11 hours ago
    For extra fun, you can make font that are the same as original but then you add ligature for some words and you make ligature using the same font but spelling different word. For example "red" ligature will be "green".
    • someonebaggy 11 hours ago
      Do this on a document to determine who is copy-pasting or reading it with AI.
      • smeehee 9 hours ago
        Fun though the idea is, assistive technologies such as TTS will also have problems with it.
      • amenghra 10 hours ago
        Do this as a captcha ;)
  • dumbfounder 2 hours ago
    I thought you could put in natural language and generate a font. But you can’t. So I made one where you can: https://fonts.buttface.rocks/
  • altairprime 10 hours ago
    Temu Sans is an absolutely beautiful demo choice. I love this. Thank you for making it.
    • kstrauser 9 hours ago
      That was one of the few recent times I've LOLed at a Hacker News article. Flawless.
  • RandyOrion 1 hour ago
    Hilarious. My first thought on these fonts is that similar clip art style text is frequently used in Persona 5. Now I know this is an active design choice.

    P.S. I saw keming and my mind went blank for a little while.

  • 6thbit 10 hours ago
    Huh, didn't know the font could control variations over nth glyhph!

    Could one make in theory a regular monospaced font to just render glyphs past 80 chars of a line as bad as possible?

  • california-og 11 hours ago
    Some of these effects are actually really easy to do with CSS @font-face & unicode-range. See: view-source:https://hlnet.neocities.org/font-face-tricks
  • hackeryojo 3 hours ago
    I have been looking for this for a very long time without knowing I have been looking for it. Royal Ransom especially is a masterpiece, I will be writing all of my work emails in these fonts from now on. Thank you. (I work for myself btw)
  • dyingkneepad 10 hours ago
    Royal Ransom Note just downloaded! It will be great to never have to cut magazines again!
    • sasaf5 2 hours ago
      Oh, and all the glueing it takes... I hate that part.
  • newtwentysix 41 minutes ago
    Good one. My friends are having a fun time
  • philjohn 10 hours ago
    temu sans is beautifully on point
    • Sharlin 10 hours ago
      More subtle keming adjustments so that the font looks just slightly "off" would be great too.
      • thenthenthen 1 hour ago
        Love the Temu variation. You can just use a ‘Chinese’ font and type roman text as well. Most of these fonts use a fixed width for Chinese glyphs, as wel as for the western characters, so i,l,f etc all have ‘extra’ white space around them, resulting in the ‘Temu’ effect, it is absolutely everywhere here in China.
      • Asterism 7 hours ago
        Very dean and modem
      • shmeeed 9 hours ago
        >keming

        I saw what you did there

    • gerdesj 8 hours ago
      I'm old enough to remember newspaper articles with kerning like that.
  • thewakalix 10 hours ago
    > Bastardica can make simple fonts feel a little, hmm, richer?

    This is truly the YTP of fonts.

  • qurren 8 hours ago
    My LinkedIn UI already looks like that

    https://imgur.com/a/FCmzWNa

    and I don't know who to report it to. I guess it's owned by Microsoft so also not surprised.

  • Aduttya 2 hours ago
    Looking at current AI apps it's more of an integrater into current LLMs rather replacement?
  • ZeWaka 11 hours ago
    This is beautiful. I think I'll have to use this for a game.
    • cluckindan 6 hours ago
      Beware of licensing.
    • demaga 10 hours ago
      I was thinking the same. Seems like a perfect fit for an 'escape simulator' room.
  • lelanthran 11 hours ago
    I have to admit, I spent way more time on this than required (giggling madly at my creations)
  • NietzscheanNull 11 hours ago
    This is great!

    FYI for the creator, I'm hitting an error when attempting to change the mix-in font (Webkit/iOS):

      Something went wrong: Out of bounds memory access (evaluating '_PyRun_SimpleString(r)')
  • hypfer 7 hours ago
    I've been recently thinking about custom fonts and ligatures to create a captcha mechanism that is easy to solve for humans but confuses LLMs.

    Something like a dynamically generated font where some letters look different, and you have to count details or write down a word or [idea not yet fleshed out].

    Won't stop someone dedicated, of course, but nothing will.

    • ctoth 5 hours ago
      I use a screen reader. Please do not do this.
  • m463 7 hours ago
    Not much different from lots of the optional font packages you can install on linux...

    :)

    EDIT: I think larabie fonts? I do like pupcat though.

  • furyofantares 7 hours ago
    Nice! It even supports COLR and SVG fonts, both of which I have options for when making a variant of my Keldritch font (https://kellydornhaus.com/keldritch/)
  • flockonus 6 hours ago
    Such a cool idea, breath in new live to old fonts!

    I wonder what's the footprint and overall efficiency of making a new font vs. combining old ones on client side (typically JS)?

  • dzulp0d 4 hours ago
    Love it. Also, why do shady electronic manuals look like that?
  • abdusco 7 hours ago
    I kinda dig Impacter. It looks quite stylish IMO.
  • thecaio 9 hours ago
    Temu Sans cracked me up
  • omegadynamics 3 hours ago
    this is just Grotesk
  • morbusfonticuli 9 hours ago
    I love it! Every click on the title will also change its bastard font :-)
  • epiccoleman 11 hours ago
    Love this, I had a lot of fun and more than a few laughs messing around with it.
  • htrp 11 hours ago
    This looks like the cut out magazine ransom letters you see in every movie.
    • Sharlin 10 hours ago
      Scroll down, they have an explicit example (with more fonts mixed in)
  • xnx 11 hours ago
    Nice logo interaction too!
  • patriciobcs 7 hours ago
    cool app, maybe make the logo at the bottom clickable so is easier to see the main page, also very cool.
  • jrochkind1 11 hours ago
    Thanks, I love-hate it.
  • repple 3 hours ago
    love it! Temu Sans.. hahaha
  • vpribish 2 hours ago
    you earned my upvote simple with the name "Times New Bastard". goddamn
  • DonHopkins 5 hours ago
    I wish I could make Dijkstra Dingbats.
  • zf00002 9 hours ago
    Really fun op!
  • 0gs 8 hours ago
    if people want to play with font generation in a non joke -- and frankly way LESS impressive -- manner, i made likeface.net too. it's a little buggy. but it's cheap and it's generous with redraws
  • lathoa 8 hours ago
    I like it
  • logicallee 9 hours ago
    Nice, I like it. The fonts are very interesting and captivating.
  • aanet 9 hours ago
    My eyes!!!
  • khalic 10 hours ago
    Seeing the results makes me unreasonably angry… nice job :D
  • busymom0 11 hours ago
    Bookmarked for future use!
  • mock-possum 23 hours ago
    Whoa this is really cool. Wish I had an excuse to use it for something… hmmm.
    • hmartin 11 hours ago
      Also clicking the logo is really fun!
  • peter_d_sherman 8 hours ago
    This is interesting -- not from the perspective of different fonts (although that's interesting too!), but from the perspective of it's a web page that can apparently render fonts on the fly...

    That means that it's probably using some library in JavaScript or WASM to implement that.

    If that's the case, then I'm thinking, you know, that functionality, that is, font rendering on demand could, in theory, be placed into a CloudFlare Worker (or other Serverless service, i.e. AWS Lambda, Azure Functions, Google Cloud Functions, OCI Funcions, IBM Cloud Code Engine, Alibaba Function Compute, etc., etc.)...

    That could be useful for a variety of applications... including (but not limited to!) word processors, typesetting software, homemade browsers, online games, heck, really anything where custom fonts are needed...

    There could be two distinct benefits with this, let's call it a "FaaS" (Fonts as a Service!) idea:

    1) No need to bundle/ship/include a font rendering engine with software that needs one.

    2) Extra layer of security -- Local font rendering software is typically Turing-Complete, and as such, the local font renderer could potentially run viruses and other unwanted programs. I.e., local font rendering is a security risk. By hermetically sealing that code into serverless function, offsite of the local machine and having that serverless function send only fully rendered font data one way, the attack surface of the font rendering engine is effectively removed from any local PC.

    This being said, the disadvantage is that it couldn't be used if the Internet or server or cloud provider is down for any reason.

    Graphical font data, once created and downloaded, could however be cached by clients for offline situations / offline usage / offline work.

    So, there are some interesting ideas here...

  • phren0logy 11 hours ago
    Thanks, I hate it.
    • shagie 4 hours ago
      Courier mixed with courier, but every 11th glyph is scaled 80% vertically (retains 100% horizontal). Monospace remains, but things are off.
  • electric_mayhem 11 hours ago
    This is absolutely diabolical and should not be put into the hands of humanity.

    What have you unleashed? Hey, look guys we got the next Oppenheimer over here.

  • vladsiu 1 hour ago
    [dead]
  • imshaikot 9 hours ago
    [dead]
  • iFarted 9 hours ago
    [dead]